I want to welcome you to another edition of coffee with Rhadi. hope you guys had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend and Thanksgiving break. I spent a great deal of time with my family, my kids, got some good workouts, and got some good devotional time in the morning on Sunday in the church, then in the evening when we put up the Christmas tree and I sat on and watched the movie, King Richard.
While watching the movie King Richard, I had to do a level of self-reflection of some portions of that movie that reminded me of myself and how I was raising my kids pre-divorce and then how I was convicted, based upon the changes and errors that I made. I’ve been provided information that I have to give to other people who’ve been in a similar situation, and I want to say this. I got two really good friends’ man. It’s Azizi Coleman and Marshall Thompson, and post-divorce they get on me about making the wrong confession, saying the wrong things, thinking the wrong things, and not focusing on the problems and the promise. And after watching that movie King Richard, I had to understand The impact of the relationship that the Father with the children to the importance of speaking over your life, your situation, and your children positively and Being okay with people not understanding exactly what it is.
So, when I was going through the process of my divorce, and even post-divorce, I would say stuff like, “Oh man, I only got 30% of the time with my kid, I don’t have other 70% percent of the time and I don’t have this and I want them.” Also, the wrong things to say, I had to go back and reread the story in the Bible about Jesus in Matthew when He fed 5000 People with five loaves of bread and two fish. But the disciples were talking about what they didn’t have. And Jesus said, just bring it to me whatever you got to bring it to me. And before Jesus fed the people, he did one major thing that I missed that I did not get until just recently what he did was he gave thanks for that what you had, and then he allowed the faith to provide the increase.
Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, give thanks for what you do have and then speak to the things that you want and your desire and allow your faith and your work to provide the increase. Now I took some notes on this particular movie when I watched it. It’s a movie about Richard Williams and his parenting of his daughters Venus and Serena. I want to take the honor to tell you these particular notes without spoiling. It’s a master class on faith.
The 1st lesson that I got from it was others cannot and will not understand the promise in the covenant that God has made with you. The reason is that he made that with you. Once you have it, you know what it is and you operate not in the belief of it, but in the knowledge of meaning that you know, that, you know, that you know…
The 2nd the second thing I got was people who desire what is normal, what is regular, and what is average will always think that your dreams desires and wishes are crazy, it is impossible for those people to mentally and emotionally wrap their minds around what God has for you to mentally and emotionally and intellectually wrap their mind around the amount of work that needs to be done. Because if the faith is big, then the work has to be big.
So if you got faith about a big huge dream or promise that you that you’ve discussed, prayed about, and received information and divination on, then the work has to be big too. Because the hope for the thing is big and then the faith is big and the work has to be big. Sometimes the work that has to be done is way beyond the mental capacities of what people can fathom. I tell my son and my daughter all the time that “Somebody’s too much is another person is not enough.” Some things will require more than other people are willing to give, some things require more than what other people want to give. That’s just what it is…
The 3rd thing I got was so basic that I got from but it’s over and over again. You have to write the vision and make it play. I deviated from it for that time. I wrote a 78-page plan before my children were born. I have it written out. I have it in my mind. I knew what it was, but I deviated from it, I still know what it is. “People don’t plan to fail they fail to plan.” My son wants to be a division one football plan and professional football player as well as a doctor. The reason why I named my son Rufus, is because there was already a plan put in place to set him up that put the dominoes in motion for him to be a professional football player. Period. utilizing wrestling, football, judo, and all those particular skillsets to bring them along and give them exactly what he needed. The reason why I named Rhadi, Rhadi, (my daughter) because she is supposed to be a world-class Olympic level judo player, period, and she wants to be a doctor.
I deviated from that for a period of time by not speaking over my kids, by not constantly writing the vision, by not making a plan, and then speaking inappropriately about my personal situation, which is also their situation. I’m so glad that I watched that movie. So I’m going to recalibrate my thinking because sometimes you think that the thing that you had in place was there to help you with the thing that you had in place was the hurdle. So, the hurdle had to get removed so that the thing can go on were supposed to go on. The promise has to be fulfilled…
I have work to do and my children have work to do. Parents make the decisions for the children until the children can make the right decisions for themselves and as much as people don’t want to hear this, here’s the fact that’s of matter, there is a hierarchical relationship based upon how things are run in a biblically run household. And if you don’t agree with the hierarchy in a relationship, if you have a problem with patriarchy, if you have a problem with all those things, that’s your personal business. I’m not getting into that discussion. But when you have a recipe, you got to do the things in order, if you do things out of order you might end up with the wrong outcome. You can have the best ingredients in the world not following the recipe and end up with a bowl full of dung…. of nothing but booboo. Because you want to do things out of order. There is an order to things. There is an order of operations in math, there is an order as a universe, there’s a spiritual order of things. If you don’t agree with that, that’s okay. It’s not my not having an argument with you. You take the argument with somebody else. Here’s what I know. When the order is followed, things will be in order.
The last thing is you can launch it for them, but they cannot have it unless they want it for themselves. But you can want it for them. I see this so much in coaching. In the realm of space of coaching and mentoring. We want so much for our clients, we want so much for our athletes, we want so much his parents, we want so much for children. And as much as we want for them. They still have an obligation to want for themselves. This is why the bible speaks in terms of training. You train a child in the way that they should go and then when they get older, they won’t depart from the training. The children will train themselves; you train them and then they don’t depart from the training. All of these children who we call prodigies were trained from a young age by their parents who had a plan for the acquisition of their expertise. Then from the training, they did not deviate from it and then they say I want to be this. How do you think a kid says I want to be a world champion? Because you poured into them, “you are a world champion, you will be a world champion, you will be the best and you will be one of the greatest.” you pour into the kid. You pour into the child and then the child is able to listen and is able to go in the way that they should go.
I remember my mom saying this to me. She said you don’t train up a child in the way they want to go to, the Bible says train up a child in the way that they should go. Which means you have to make the decision on the way that they should go. Then when they go, they can go as they want to go but you train them as they should go.
Those are the overarching lessons and I’m going to tell you right now. I watched it. I took some notes on it. I’m going to watch it again and take notes on it again because I know there are some things that I missed. I watch some things in life, I’ve trained my kids and had people say that what I doing was crazy and out of order. I’ve done it. I’ve also had experiences where my kids have done things that other people haven’t done. I deviated from some of it and I’m going to go back to the basics. Write the vision, make a plan. I’m going to continue to speak over my situation positively and that of my children, I’m going to believe that all of God’s promises are yes and amen. I’m going to have a My faith is going to be ridiculous. And the work is also going to be ridiculous. And the outcome is also going to be ridiculous. And that’s just what it is.
Visit www.coffeewithrhadi.com and get the book coffee with Rhadi today. If you already have the book, Buy a copy for somebody else. I appreciate it. This is Dr. Ferguson. Have a super fantastic day. Remember, I love you. God bless you best…
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