I’d like to talk to you about something important. I’d like to talk about what I learned from fishing and how it helped me win in life, relationships, and in business.
Now, when we communicate, it is often about what we want to say. But if you take a step back and think about the other person, their feelings should matter as well. After all, nobody likes the feeling of being talked down to or ignored by someone who is supposed to deeply care for them.
I’m going to discuss with you about how communicating with people should be based on their desires. And if you do this, their desires can benefit your desires, your relationships and your business as well.
So, here’s what I learned from fishing. I enjoy fishing, I wish I had more time to do it. But running a few businesses takes up a good amount of time. And sometimes there’s no time left for fishing when I’m doing the parenting thing, you know, going from this practice, to the next practice to tournaments to track me shooting additional practices in the morning to football practices and to plays and do recitals. Goodness, gracious is just a lot. But I do love fishing. Here’s one thing that I learned from the fishing process that I think will truly help you because it really helped me. So, I really love water crackers and Brie cheese and normally I have talked about that, but I really liked cars, water crackers, and Brie cheese and sometimes a little bit of Gouda cheese. But as much as I like those particular things, if I’m fishing for bass, I can’t put water crackers and Brie cheese on the hook. I can’t use that bait. And it is completely ridiculous for me to assume that because that’s what I like, that’s what the fish like to. That’s not how it works, I have to bait the hook according to what the fish want to eat. This is the only way to get the attention of the fish and to get them on my side, which is in my boat.
And it’s really the only way to appropriately communicate with people as well. Just think about it. If you want your kid to clean the room, you can say “hey man, clean up your goddamn room. You know, I don’t like this house dirty. I can’t concentrate, and your room is filthy. So, tighten it up.” You can say that. I wouldn’t agree with it. But you can say that. Have I tried that approach before? Yes, I’ve tried. That’s why No, I don’t agree with it now.
And you can try, “You really have been doing a great job around the house. And you’ve told me that you want to be a professional baseball player. But one of the main things that you have to do to be as a professional athlete is to be organized. So, if you take the time to clean up your room and get organized and do this consistently, I guarantee you that you’ll become a better baseball player. Now, would you like my help on getting started with this in the next 30 minutes?” Now that’s a different approach. That’s not the one I used when I was younger, definitely. So, I use it now, because I’ve evolved over time, and I have learned to find out what the person really wants, and then communicate with them with the right bait on the hook.
Instead of thinking about what we would like and projecting that on the person as to what they would like as well. I had a really, really bad habit of doing this. And it’s something that I’m still working on in my personal development meetings and in therapy. And it’s going to get better. It’s not where I wanted to be, but then God is not where it used to be.
Right now, I’m in the in the process of pinning a book on communication inside of the dojo, because, I see there’s a lot of different styles that I have to use in the dojo to motivate kids. Some would fall under the umbrella of negative reinforcement, some of positive reinforcement, some are negative, some are positive. Some like massages and caresses. Some like pushes, nudges, pool, tugs, and it depends on what the person needs at which particular time and contextually where they are, where you are, the goals that are trying to be accomplished, and how much time we have to accomplish said goals, all these particular things, they have merit in the process of motivation of selection.
I know a lot of people like to look at things based upon a very myopic view, or look at them in a vacuum. But every situation in terms of coaching is different. And I’m in the process of pinning a book now.
While I’m in the process of brainstorming phase to get my ideas on paper, about motivation and conversations inside the dojo, I would like to influence you to get a book that I have written called Judo is life which is available at http://www.judoislife.net/. This is Dr. Ferguson, please remember to put the right bait on the hook.
So, you can put the fish in the bowl that you would like to have in a boat. It makes no sense to try to get somebody to see things from your perspective. If you won’t first see them from their perspective. Talk to the person in terms of what they want, and you end up being able to get what you want. Take care have a super fantastic day. Remember, I love you, but God loves you best. And don’t forget to visit http://www.judoislife.net/
Visit www.coffeewithrhadi.com and get the book coffee with Rhadi today. If you already have the book, Buy a copy for somebody else. I appreciate it. This is Dr. Ferguson. Have a super fantastic day. Remember, I love you. God bless you best…
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