Today, I need your help. If you’d be so kind, if you’re reading this right now, I want you to hit the share button. Because I need as many people to see this as possible because I need some feedback. Feel free to hit me up on Instagram. or hit me up on Facebook and send me a direct message.
So here’s my dilemma. I have been teaching and coaching since 2000. All right. I did my official teaching in 2001 when I did my student teaching when I was in my education program at Howard University, then I took a job as a volunteer for the conditioning coach at the University of Maryland. And I became an assistant to the conditioning coach.
I’m having a real problem with the students that I teach right now because everything has changed. My methods and my style, have to morph and change. And I’m a little bit behind because. Nor do I have children who mimic the behavior of the children who come from that environment. So I have people that my dojo who tell me your kids, are so well behaved. How did that happen? I said because I beat them.
They said, Well, it doesn’t work. I said, Well, it is working a lot better than your method. But do I spank my kids now? No, my kids are older now. There is no reason to spank my kids now or beat them or anything like that. But I have a situation where I’m in a classroom setting, and the children don’t listen. And then they don’t have any consequences for not listening at home. And then the parents don’t want me to create any consequences for them not listening inside of the dojo. I talk to educators and teachers and I have some teachers inside of my dojo. I did my Ph.D. in education. So I do understand some of the education processes. I have a cousin who’s a principal I speak with I have another cousin who has several cousins who teach. In the information processing theory, you have a sender and you have a receiver. And for the information to go forward, the sender has a responsibility and the receiver has a responsibility. They put everything on the sender and nothing on the receiver. So if you give a child a message, or you give a child a lesson and they don’t get it or they fail, they don’t do well. Then they blame it on the sender or the teacher said that the teacher needs to find a different way to keep sending the message to the receiver until you find the method that works with the child meaning meet the child where they are.
That is a great methodology. Every method has its issues or hangups, the issue or hangup with that is that there’s no onus on the receiver to ever get the message. They sit back and wait to be spoon-fed because you can’t allow them to fail.
When my mom and dad told me to do something. I didn’t do it. Ass a whooping, out the gate, bus upside, the hedge at the gate, I mean, fixed right now, let’s be clear. Times have changed, things have changed. I’m not saying that that method doesn’t work. What I’m saying is, that’s not the one we can use. I’m watching children, not listening. Now, here’s why this is an issue.
Mom asked them, Why didn’t you listen to this? Because I wanted to get in on my side. Now listen to this. Now, listen. Listen, listen. All this stuff is cute, and fun is fun, and all that stuff. And until the situation happens, somebody loses their life because they’re not listening. Or you take your child who’s not trained to listen, and he decides to go to the military. And he wants to bring those behaviors and is listening in at the wrong time. Or you tell somebody to run to the left, or they run to the right in a football game and somebody Blitz and somebody gets hurt or gets a neck broken. It’s all fun and games. Now, I’m challenging you because I need to hear some feedback. I need somebody to give me some feedback. Because you all who do not discipline your children, you all do not spank you to you all who do this time, our thing you all, all, you all do this thing, I need you to help me because you’re assuming that I have the same amount of time to you that you do. I’ll be honest with you, most of you are here, my time is worth more than your time. So I don’t have all that time to be talking to Johnny four, and five and six and 7,8,9, 10 all the time.
Now, if we look in the behavioral modification space, in terms of education, there has to be some aversive stimulus that is provided to change behavior. You all don’t want to provide an aversive stimulus. I understand talking to children, I’m with it. I’m 100%. With it, you’re making it you’re making an era when you believe that the reasoning of a child is the same as reasoning about an adult a child is not an adult, a child has a childlike reason, an adult has an adult light reason that is just not the same. It’s very difficult to have a hard-core conversation with a child to get a child to understand like an adult, honestly, they just don’t understand. They don’t understand the reasoning about that child that they did not understand why I was telling him, to stop and not get in the car and not run in the parking lot. Now, here’s the deal. adhering to instructions is very, very, very important. As the time gets closer to zero for the consequence of the event.
If you don’t listen to something, and something happens right away, because you didn’t listen. We didn’t have time to tell you two and three and four times. So the lesson that we were getting when we were young was there might be an issue that somebody tells you something you don’t have time to go back and fix it. Or somebody says something now it is important because they wanted it done five minutes from now they’d asked me, they asked me They asked for five minutes later.
I’m talking about providing some harmonious consequences for behavior, which mirror the martial arts environment, mirror the sporting environment. You listen, you know, but some of your children are unruly, man. Some of your children are unruly. Nobody wants to hear their children. Listen, your children are ill-mannered. Your children are unruly. They get in between adults when adults are talking. They don’t say excuse me, I can’t tell you the amount of time I was at a tournament last weekend. They kept brushing past me at a time when I had to grab the kid and move them back and say, I was at the YMCA a few years ago. I’m in line to register my son for the YMCA camp. The kid just bumps past me. So I grabbed the kid and move him back. His mom says, don’t you put your hands on my son. I said and I put my hands on your son, then what?
So exactly what are you going to do? Did I say, Ma’am, your child needs to learn how to say excuse me?
Well, I could tell him I said, Well, we don’t have time for that. I told him to say excuse me, and I moved him back. So what would you like to do about it now? Your child is ill-mannered ma’am. And so you know, everybody doesn’t like that approach. I don’t care if you’d like to approach what I’m not going to do. Without saying Excuse me. Your children do not say please, the children do not say thank you, your children answer what hot and what? And they say yeah, instead of yes and no. You ask your children to do stuff they say no. Like this is this is um, it is unbelief man, let me take a drink. It is unbelievable that I need some of you to give me some. And it works amazing. I love this about our school. Would you say I’m a parent? Oh my god. Parents make so many excuses for their children.
I’m gonna call you to raise and train on here even though I know your name. I’m just gonna respect that. I can’t tell you the number of times I had to tell somebody. Ma’am, sir, thank you so much. I appreciate everything that you’ve done for giving Tampa Florida Judo a try. But your membership has been revoked from here immediately. I did one last week.
We are having a situation where the kids are rolling on balls and chokes. The kid gets choked. But the hand comes in the neck and the kid is tapping. I said, Man, as a man, you can’t just tap on somebody. You got to let you have to try to fight the choke. And then when you can tap them when you can’t get out. Then you tap. I say here’s what you do. I move on and don’t say, man, till the other guy. If he taps don’t normally spend the time you stopped when I say just to bring a level of anxiety on the kid that makes the kid afraid to get out kid face to get out. He’s trying to get out doing a good job. Please choke it. I mean, we choke an armbar. I mean, it’s what we do. The mom was so upset because her child was being choked.
Ma’am, you do understand that everybody. Everybody will try to choke everybody in here. That’s what the hell we do in here. If you do know that’s what we do, right? We choke people, we throw people we manipulate them. We lock out their joints, we make them holler and scream until they say I can’t take anymore, and then the match is over and we find another one that’s kind of like the house cutter how to thing goes.
No, sir. Y’all got these bubble wrap Cottonelle mamby pamby, whining children. I’m 46 years old, I watch a movie, I cry. I have a problem with crying. My daughter, God bless my daughter. She was pushing it. She broke her wrist and then say nothing. I saw her porn and the other person is gay. I said, right. He was wrong. He said I hurt my wrist. I went over there and I checked it. I said, Man, your wrist is broken. Lo and behold, it was broken. She never cried. She never hollered. She never screamed you know. She went to school and the next day we tried to put the brace on she wanted to do it. She called me she said Daddy, my wrist is hurting and that was it. No hollering no crying, no screaming no yelling no whining. No, no. These things that your children do none of these things that she was outside yesterday.
When you watch the Olympics, they are just war games. They’re games that people can’t play without dying. So that our country can establish its global dominance through sport. When you start seeing, as you have seen in the past couple of Olympics, that gap that the United States usually has, when you start seeing that gap, start closing and closing and closing and closing and closing and closing and closing, what you’re watching is you’re watching your country become weaker and weaker and weaker and weaker and weaker and weaker. When you see the obese, obesity rates in your country start rising and rising and rising and rising and rising, you’re watching your country get weaker and weaker and weaker and weaker and weaker.
When kids don’t fail the test because they can’t fail, you’re going to argue that the country’s getting weaker and weaker. Listen, when the football changes. I’m not saying that people need to hit people in there. That’s not what I’m saying. It’s not what I’m saying. It’s not what I’m saying. It’s not what I’m saying. What I’m saying is the game in and of itself, even Tom Brady said this week, but Tom Brady had a clip recently where he talked about basically, they removed the consequence for making poor plays. The quarterback holds on to the ball too long, and then they penalize a defensive player, the quarterback leads the receiver the wrong way. They penalize the defensive player, he says so the quarterback never really learns consequences for poor plays. We remove a lot. We are removing consequences for poor behavior. You all are removing the consequences for poor behavior. And thus, you’re rewarding poor behavior. I need somebody to tell me What are you all doing at home to aid and help out the people who you send your children to during the day when your children are unruly?
Some of your parents, you need to level up. Some of your kids may need to level up. And some of the coaches that are listening, stop being afraid of the parents tell the parents they have to make some adjustments or find some new parents because you’re not doing the parents any good, you’re not doing yourself any good. The people who run these martial art facilities, and get these 30-minute classes and play games with these kids. They don’t teach the kids real-life skills. They’re patting them on the back and letting them still, stuck. Listen, You teach a martial art, and the word martial means war. It means it’s a war-like type of preparation. You need that, you need to prepare these kids for life that requires mental, physical, and emotional readiness. And it’s not easy. And some trauma goes along with it. And it won’t look nice all the time. eight five minute rounds of tachi waza, and then 6,5,4 minute rounds and they were, and then you know, four by 10 throws on the crush pad, and then ropes at the end that that’s not fun for anybody. A couple of people gonna vomit a couple of people gonna be outside a couple of people. I have heat exhaustion. That’s just how it goes, man. And some will make it and some won’t. And that’s how everybody is not supposed to make it. Some people who get inside the stadium, buy a ticket and then the stands. And some people are in the stadium because they’re on the list and now on the track. And then some people in that stadium will be seen because there’ll be on the podium. Everybody is in the stadium for a different reason. There’s only one champ
A lot of you think that you have all the time in the world. But you don’t.
The time that you need to get it right. You need to get it right. today.
I’m gonna tell you. Some of your parents need to do a better job. That’s just a fact. This is a fact. If children are whiny, they’re unruly. They’re cry babies, and they’re disrespectful.
If you bust ass, every time they were disrespectful, they would change their behavior. Because none of us who are on here who have ever touched the hot stove twice
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